To my dear, dear friend

I really thought you gave a shit about me my dear, dear friend.

You were there for me, years ago, when things went wrong. Yet, perhaps it was only because you were banging MM, who happened to be in my band. I was just convenient, or maybe you befriended me to become a pawn. That way, you could pump me for information when you weren't around. Was that it?

You were there for me when that band fell apart and I joined a new one. Your relationship with MM ended. I even hooked you up with my single friend, my bandmate, MK. You became obsessed with him, then he dissed you. That's all you talked about for a year but I patiently listened. I helped you out with multiple projects for school. I was there for you time after time after time when you didn't understand why MK didn't want to be in a relationship for you. And sometimes, you even listened to me talk. You had nice things to say to me, at one point. Then you started smoking more pot than ever, and it seemed all you wanted to do was smoke pot and drink. You turned 21. Now I think you're an alcoholic, my dear dear friend. So I distanced myself.

You moved away to L.A. and missed Tulsa. I told you that you would want to move there, and untimately I was right. But you had to come back here. We talked online often when you lived there, I said I missed you and you said you missed me. Now you've been back over 6 months and I've seen you 3 times. You stopped answering your phone, never reterned your calls. Each time I've seen you, strangely enough, it's because there was some band boy present that you wanted to screw. Once at a show, 2 other times at 2 seaparate bars. Each time I see you you're like "Let's definately hang out!" I say, each time, call me and let's make it happen. You never call, I'm convince you don't give a shit about me but the men that sometimes surround me. So you are no longer my dear, dear friend. You are someone who is confused and I don't need in my life. Not that it was my choice to remove you from my life, that was all you.

I did think it was odd that a few months ago you took notice of my married friend G, who is (how uncanny!) in my new band. You called him more than you called me. How strange? Why didn't you call me? Why didn't you invite his wife? Do you even know her name? Some questions will always go unanswered, I guess.

I guess I'm going to give your birthday gift that's been sitting in my living room since your birthday in December to someone else, since it's almost May. Or maybe I'll just hang on to it and bring it to the next bar that has a boy in it that you want to screw, surely you'll be there.

Have a nice life my dear, dear friend.